Saying “No” To A Spoiled Child
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Over the Labor Day weekend, I learned a stressful lesson in the field of parenting. My relatives from Canada came to New York for a quick visit and I was to show my younger cousins, three girls and a boy (the youngest of them all), around and to bring them to go shopping. The girls, in their teenage years, have grown to be quite mature and conscious of their spending. The boy, on the other hand, is like the typical kid who is always crying and nagging for toys.
As we walk down the streets, he keep asking when we are going to Toys ‘R Us and I keep telling him soon. We had no transportation to get there anywhere to I just kept stalling. Finally, he was too anxious and was get frustrated that I was bringing him to the toy store.
Pulling a fit like any discontent child, he just stopped walking with a frown on his face and his arms crossed. I had repeatedly lie to him just so that we could finish this shopping. Saying “no” would simply lead to more tantrums and the quicker I could get him home the faster this will all be over with. At last, I said that we had to go home to get the car so we can drive there and he agreed. Once we got home, I let him play with my PSP and that was the end of that!
What I Learned
Young children are creatures that need to be constantly entertained and excited. That is also something one can use to their aadvantage. They’ll easily forget about something as long as you can keep them occupied with something else. The cost of toys can add up during childhood and keep it to a minimum may be a smart move. Caring for such a child is something I wouldn’t like to experience again but this will help me if and when I have a family.
Toys photo credit: Dazed81
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WiseMoneyMatters said:
I think a lot of it comes to begin certain parenting strategies from the beginning. If every time you give your child a PSP when he throws a fit, it’s just teaching him to always want to be entertained. A few stern “no” answers with your choice of punishment if they continue to throw a tantrum and they will start to learn. When I was a child, the second my dad mentioned a spanking, I shut up pretty much instantly. I was only spanked maybe 3 times as a child because after the first few I didn’t want to be spanked anymore. Unfortunately bad parents take spanking too far and these days a spanking can result in a visit from CPS.
Anyways, the point is that if you give a child something to appease them during tantrums, they will expect to be entertained in the future.
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:17 am -
Stine said:
I fully agree with WMM above about “tantrum management”. On the other hand, you did lie to him… Can you really blame him for being frustrated? He thought you were going to Toys’rUs, and his frustration grew – obviously.
Lying to kids make them think that it’s OK to lie, and also make them distrustful towards adults – you in particular.
What you could have done? Explained why you couldn’t go where he wanted, and told him he’d be allowed to play with your PSP later instead, if he behaved himself. He may still have been frustrated, but he’d know why it’s not possible, and he’d have an alternative to look forward to. If there had been a tantrum anyway, you’d have to withhold the PSP. Sad and probably noisy, but that’s what being consistent is all about!
Best of luck next time!September 4th, 2008 at 4:47 am
